Maybe it's me, maybe it's the time of year, but I feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm out of touch with people's expectations of me and falling short. Again and again.
Every year with school, I start out doing really well, trying really hard, and I succeed. Somewhere toward the middle to end of the school year, though, I get into a groove and by the end I am so worn out that I don't care anymore. Maybe it's just my pride, but I don't want to be known as a girl that does well in the beginning but doesn't follow through. Or someone that slacks and coasts. If I do that when I'm teaching, I'll never survive. The kids will never survive. I want to do more than survive. I want to thrive. I want to encourage and stimulate growth, not just prevent death.
Am I doing the same thing spiritually? Getting into a groove and coasting? I should be asking myself that question more often, I think. How am I challenging myself/trusting God more today than I did yesterday? How am I loving people more than I did yesterday?
I'm tired.
Christian's back in the hospital. Pneumonia, high fever, and abdominal pain. I've never been around during pneumonia season, but I've never seen him this sick. He doesn't seem himself. Doesn't even want to keep his eyes open to chat...Lord keep him safe tonight and may your will be done. Ease his pain, Father, it breaks my heart.
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