Saturday, September 1, 2007

Transition

I'm in the midst of this huge transition in my life and it's hard to get a grasp on pretty much anything right now. Here are some of the ways I'm transitioning:

From Student to Teacher:
I've spent the past 17 years learning how to be a good student. I've learned what needs to be done and what doesn't, how to get along with pretty much any teacher, and how to manage my time/balance a whole courseload and a life. Now, I'm in graduate classes where I'm still a student trying to learn and get a good grade. At the same time, though, I'm a "Teacher Intern" which means I'm being apprenticed in how to teach. I'm spending time observing, teaching, learning. I don't really know what my role is.

From Independent to Dependent:
Not dependent in a negative context, by any means. I'm moving from being in college and living with college students (or for the past year, by myself), to living with my grandma, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Life is considerably different in this house, and many times I'm just trying to be considerate and I step on someone's toes, or I don't do my own work. I'm learning a balance between family time and "me" time, and learning to really rely on God. I need to be dependent on him. In a very real sense. I think a lot of times, and especially as I have gone through college, I have learned to rely a lot on people as opposed to God. Even in my independence last year, I still maintained my friendship support skeleton. This year, that social construct is not as freely accessible, because I'm not in town. My reliance needs to be on God.

From College Ministry to Lifelong Ministry:
In the past 4 years I have gotten very comfortable with campus ministry. I've been a regular attendee at a church in the area, gone to and led weekly Bible studies, attended weekly meetings, met new people wherever I went, and conducted surveys in the dorms. If I could be comfortable doing anything right now, I think that would be it. But that's not where God has me right now. He has me in Flint Community School District, teaching 29 second graders how to read, write, and compute. He has me in a place of influence over their love of learning, and their future. It's a heavy responsibility. I'll be surrounded by students or teachers all day, unsure of whether or not God's name is acceptable inside the school walls. I'm learning how to be bold, and how to just live life with people that are not my age and are not just like me. I want to understand the kids. I want to listen to them, learn from them, encourage them. I'm learning.

I think that's all for now. I'm also looking for a church and will be learning what it means to be a member of a church instead of just a regular attendee. It's going to be a challenging year. :-)

1 comment:

emma.annesley said...

its tough in the beginning. the transition is the hardest part. but the year will FLY by and by april you'll forget what it was like to not be a teacher. it'll happen so naturally you'll hardly see it.

you'll be fabulous, jessica brtva. i know you can do it.