Blogging...

I really want to get better and more consistent about updating this blog. I feel like if I'm more regular about posting, I might have people that actually read it and comment and I love that!

I had an idea for a blog entry last night or this morning, but sure enough, I sit down at my computer and it's gone... Oh, well.

Until again, friends.

(for those of you reading on Facebook, this is originially from www.jbrtva.blogspot.com *smile*)

The Gospel for Geeks

So, this morning while I was cleaning my apartment, I decided to listen to some podcasts that I have been saving up on my computer/iPod for such a time as this. I didn't know that it had been quite so long since I listened to them but this morning I heard a sermon from Riverview on 8/27/07. Wow...over 2 years ago.

Anyway, Noel was starting a series on "The Gospel According to..." and the first week was about John Calvin and Hudson Taylor. The message was good, but something especially stuck out to me that I wanted to write down in a place where I could find it again by doing a google search (as opposed to writing it in a journal and then wanting to go back and find it, needing to look through 3-4 journals before I find the right one...)

The topic was about our earthly bodies being tents, and in heaven we'll get bodies that are houses. Tents are leaky and fall apart all the time: temporary. Houses, though, are more permanent and sturdy.

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. (2 Corinthians 5:1)

Then, Noel goes off on a tangent..."You know, no one ever contextualizes the Gospel for geeks...."

Our bodies right now are like beta release software. The bugs and kinks haven't been worked out yet. So God released the beta software in the Garden of Eden. Then sin (a virus) was introduced. Now there are all these software upgrades and patches that need to be installed every so often. When we get to heaven, we'll get the final release software with no need for further upgrades or installs.

That made me laugh and smile. It's an interesting analogy.

Our bodies are temporary and flawed. But Christ, through his perfect sacrifice "has made perfect those who are being made holy" (Hebrews 10:14). There you have it. Any time I get frustrated with my body/appearance, I can just look forward to the final release software...*smile*

Confessions

Well, last week's menu didn't work out as well as I had planned...

Sunday I ended up eating out because some friends invited me over to the ranch.
Monday I did make dinner, what I had originally planned for Sunday. More potatoes than I could eat in a year...the downside of being single with no roommates...
Tuesday I ate out...orchestra rehearsal
Wednesday...don't remember Wednesday...I feel like I might have eaten out or skipped dinner entirely...really busy evening
Thursday dinner with Lacey's family
Friday breakfast and lunch out (traveling), fancy dinner at Chicago(ish) hotel (but I didn't pay *smile*)
Saturday lunch out with the "gang" in Chicago(ish), fancy dinner at Chicago(ish) hotel (again, I didn't pay *smile*)

This week will maybe be better?

That's all.

P.S. I started reading "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot....good stuff. She has a way of writing that is authentic to what she was going through, including journal tidbits and scriptures that encouraged her and held her fast during times when she struggled with lonliness or singleness in general, especially when she and Jim Elliot loved each other but needed to be apart.

A Steward of my Singleness

I've been meaning to blog about what I've been learning in regards to relationships. More specifically, dating relationships. Don't get excited, I'm not in one *smile*, but I've been doing a lot of thinking, praying, reading and studying about dating relationships and, in turn, marriage.  There are many thoughts that I have about this topic, but they are all jumbled up in my head and I'm not an expert by any means (my last relationship was over 4 years ago...). I just have some thoughts.

I'm not going to write them down here just yet. What I am going to do, though, is write about how I can be using this time of singleness that I have right now to prepare myself for the future. Not that I'm wasting away this time waiting until I "arrive" at married/family life, but things that I can do now that will help my future life whether or not I end up married.

1. Finances:

• I need to start a budget and stick to it. I've piddled around with budgeting tools, but I haven't found something that I have sat down and taken the time to plan out everything and make a smart budget to go from. 
• I need start being more disciplined with keeping my checkbook up to date. With debit card transactions, it's easy to forget to write something down and then only notice when the bank statement is ready. It's a discipline that I need to start making a priority

2. Meals:

• One huge priority for me is learning how to plan a menu and stick to it. Do the grocery shopping on the weekend so I have everything I need for the week, and then make the meals! It works even better if I can do some of the prep work the night before so that when I come home at night I just need to stick it in the oven or pan.
• Eating out less. This could go under the budget item, too...I just feel like it's such a waste of money!

3. Maintaining a household:

• Set a schedule for cleaning, whether it's one day per week that is devoted to cleaning the apt. from top to bottom or smaller chores each day of the week. There needs to be a schedule, and it needs to be a discipline. I have seen how I can become lazy about it and not dust for weeks at a time...if I can't do it in a small apartment, what happens when I have a house? Or 2 kids running around?

There are plenty more things I could add to this list, I'm sure. These are the ones I'm actually working on right now. These are the ones I want people to keep me accountable for. This is where I'd like to see growth. There are other, internal things I'm working on along these lines, too...maybe those will be in another post.

For those who are interested, here's my (proposed) menu for the week: (not good on the eating out category...still working on that one *smile*)
Saturday - Baked chicken, spaghetti squash, salad
Sunday - pork chops, Romano Potatoes, salad
Monday - chicken & broccoli ring, salad
Tuesday - probably fast food or leftovers, orchestra rehearsal 7 - 9:30
Wednesday -  pizza, salad
Thursday - dinner with Lacey's parents or out on my own...in Richmond overnight
Friday - will be in Chicago eating a fancy dinner at the Westin Hotel for my Dad's Inauguration (Illinois Optometric Association)

Crazy Love

So...I'm "reading" (read: listening to) Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I started it this summer while I was determined to go running at the park every so often. The goal was to go more than every so often, but the goal and actuality didn't match up. Anyway, I've been "reading" it, and I have taken to repeating a certain section. I loved it so much that I spent time this week listening to a few seconds, pausing to write it down, then listening to more, writing it down, and repeating that process for about 5-7 minutes of content. I'm not going to repeat it *all* here, because I want you all to read the book (or at least listen to it). I will, however, share some really good nuggets of what I've been listening to, and my thoughts on how I am processing it in my own life.

Here we go...

"Lukewarm living while simultaneously claiming Christ's name is utterly disgusting to God. And when we are honest, we have to admit that it isn't fulfilling or joyful to use, either. But the solution isn't to try harder, fail and then make bigger promises only to fail again. It does no good to muster up more love for God, to will yourself to love him more. When loving him becomes obligation, one of the many things we have to do, we end up focusing even more on ourselves. No wonder so few people want to hear from us about what we ourselves feel is a boring, guilt ridden chore."

It is so easy to get sucked into guilt trips that we set for ourselves. We have lofty goals for ourselves and are quick to forget that we are sinners. When you have been a Christian for a long time, or even a short time, it's easy to "go through the motions" and put on a happy face. It is easy to live at surface level with people and never get past the facade, fooling even yourself into believing that you have it all together. What tends to happen, though, is that the mask wears thin in front of some people, or it cracks when we really look in the mirror of our lives. We mess up, and then are shocked to believe that it happened! If I truly knew that I am a sinner, the true state of my heart and root of my selfishness, I would not be shocked when it manifests itself in my actions or thoughts. I would know that it was my nature, and fight the good fight against it, praising God for his glorious grace that knows all of that junk and loves me still. When we make a list of things to do, people to pray for, bible studies to do, it can easily become a chore, setting our hearts up for failure and disappointment. The cool thing, though, is that God isn't disappointed when we fail. To be disappointed, you need to have high expectations. He doesn't have high expectations for humans. He knows we will fall. That's why Jesus came. (This not to say we should continue sinning with reckless abandonment...Romans 7-8, Galatians 5)

"Prayers for more love result in love, which naturally causes us to pray more, which results in more love. Imagine going for a run while eating a box of Twinkies. Besides being self-defeating and side-ache inducing, it would also be near impossible. You'd have to stop running in order to eat the Twinkies. In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin. When you are pursuing love, running toward Christ, you do not have the opportunity to wonder 'Am I doing this right?' or 'Did I serve enough this week?' When you are running toward Christ you are freed up to serve, love and give thanks without guilt, worry or fear. As long as you are running, you are safe. But running is exhausting. If, that is, we are running from sin or guilt or out of fear, or if we haven't run in awhile. However, if we train ourselves to run toward our refuge, toward love, we are free, just as we are called to be. As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving him and others becomes natural. As long as we are pursuing him, we're satisfied in him. It's when we stop actively loving him that we find ourselves restless and gravitating toward other means of fulfillment."

It was very ironic (is that the right word? Did I at least use it better than Alanis did?) to be listening to this for the first time while running, something that I don't do often. He's right. Running is exhausting when you haven't done it in awhile. So is initiating relationships, praying, reading the Bible. When you're out of practice at a musical instrument or sport, it takes time to build up your strength and endurance. The author is saying that love is the same way. If we are out of practice loving God and loving others, we will need time to develop those habits and endurance again. We will need strength that is not our own in order to truly love those people in our life that rub us the wrong way, or that need so much from us when we feel we have nothing else to give. I know when I'm driving somewhere far away, recently those trips have been back home to visit family, going *to* the place is always more bearable and feels faster than coming *home.* The distance is the same, the amount of hours in the car is the same. The difference, though, is the expectancy and excitement of going somewhere, looking forward to spending time with people that I love and miss. Coming home from those times, I'm driving away from a place that I love, going to another place I love, but the place I'm going is normal. It's not nearly as exciting as seeing people that I haven't seen in months. Does that make sense? I'm not feeling very concise/clear.

So...I copied more than I planned...oops. I think this post is long enough.

General idea: Run towards Jesus. He loves you and along the way you will be able to love others and do the things that he wants you to do. If you switch the order, you'll end up feeling guilty and frustrated with yourself.

Community Goals

Something I was reminded of yesterday at LaFa was the purpose of community in our lives. I want to get this out this morning before it's gone...bear with me.

So many times, I have tried to live life as a list of things not to do, or even as a list of things to do (often in replacement of the things I'm not supposed to do). I've always been a "good kid". That's not what this life is about, though. That's not what a relationship with God looks like. The Bible talks about how the life we have due to our relationship with God through Jesus will be so attractive and so different that people will know something is different about us. They will ask why we do the things we do, why we love our enemies, and how it is possible for us to live with such faith and confidence. Not saying that I already do those things, or that those three statements are the definition of what it means to follow Jesus.

I was just reading in Acts this morning, in response to several people sharing from the book last night at LaFa. I came across the passage that I love, that talks about community, about the first church. They weren't called a church, though, they were called believers, apostles, "The Way."

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hears, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Acts 2:42-47

Breaking of bread is mentioned several times in that short passage. There is something about eating together that tears down barriers and brings people closer. A goal that I have for the community that I am in and the community that is created when people come together under a common purpose, is to devote ourselves to the word, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. I think last night was a good example of that, and I just pray that it continues!

...nuggets of wisdom from this weekend...

I want to blog more regularly, because then maybe people would read and comment on my posts more. And I love that! I want to write not for me, but about what God is doing, in hopes that it will encourage or challenge others. I mean, some of this is for me to process what's going on and put my thoughts into words, but I also want to encourage anyone that reads it.

Enough rambling about my goals for this blog. On to the topic at hand. This weekend I went to the lake with some friends. AMAZING. Six of us shared a house for a 1 1/2 days, and we spent most of Saturday on a boat in the middle of a lake, either pulling wakeboarders, speeding around, or swimming. It was fun. It was also a great time of community with people that I am just starting to get to know. I loved that, too.

Anyway, Saturday morning we all woke up at different times, but as people woke up, some of us were sitting on the patio and we started talking about a lot of different things. I was trying to read through Ephesians and get back into my study of that book, but obviously God didn't want me there, because I kept getting distracted by the conversation and we somehow got on the topic of Solomon and then to Ecclesiastes. I haven't read through Ecclesiastes in a while, so I started flipping through, reminding myself of the content/context.

A couple of nuggets that really stuck out during the conversation (first, personal. second, as a group):

Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you - for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

So many times in my classroom I am almost paranoid making sure that I know what the students are talking about when I'm not looking. I don't know why I feel like I have to know everything that's in their conversation, or why I think that it's often about me, but something in me wants to know what they are saying all the time. I am learning to let go, and learning that it doesn't matter, and that I don't need and really shouldn't expect to know everything they talk about. They're teenagers. They're going to talk about their teachers. They're also going to talk about a lot of other things that I don't want to hear. Ha.

Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise - why destroy yourself? do not be over wicked and do not be a fool - why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.
Ecclesiastes 7:16-18

Something that Noel at Riverview talks about a lot is living "razor's edge" Christianity. There is a fine line sometimes from being on the side of either extreme. I have lived at the extremes sometimes, but the goal is balance and discernment. Good stuff.