Love

Interesting quotes, again from the TWLOHA blog:

"...Love is a thousand things but at the center is a choice. It is a choice to love people. Left to myself, i get quiet and bitter and critical. i get angry. i feel sorry for myself. It is a choice to love people. It is a choice to be kind. It is a choice to be patient, to be honest, to live with grace..."

"...i have learned that it's a lot easier to talk about loving people than it is to actually love people. It is easier to talk about community than it is to live in community. Honestly, i mostly suck at both. i am good at being short with people and i have gotten really good at being quiet..."

I connected with both of those quotes. It is hard to make the choice to do something the right way the first time out of love. To actually live in community takes sacrifice and service. Self-centeredness takes much less energy.

Suicide Prevention

Some of you don't know this about me. I'm passionate that there is a way to prevent suicide. Over the years I had 2 friends seriously contemplate killing themselves, confiding their plan to me. I have had others confess their struggles with suicidal thoughts to me, as well. When I heard the story of the organization To Write Love on Her Arms, it resonated with my heart. I thank my friend Jason for introducing me to it, and I wish that I were more involved with the mission of the organization.

That being said, here is something they posted on their facebook/myspace site just recently. It's a clip from CNN about a man in Japan making a difference. He is taking the time to listen and to give hope. He literally meets these people on the cliff where they are planning and waiting for the right moment to jump. I want to be that kind of a friend. I want to be literally and figuratively someone who will make a point to intervene when the warning signs appear. Here's his story.

Ups and Downs

Let's start with the Ups:

• I have a job for the fall! I'll be teaching high school algebra at Virginia School for the Deaf. :-)
• I'm leaving for Baltimore tomorrow for Shelbie and Luke's wedding, and then to visit Twila, Katie and Josh
• While I'm out East, I'm going to have a chance to visit the school/town that I'll be working/living in!
• My family is extremely generous.

Along with that there are a few Downs:

• I have about $400 to my name, and no real source of income until after August 15th.
• This weekend is going to be expensive...
• Moving to Virginia means leaving family and friends in Michigan and Illinois
• Moving is expensive...
• I hate having a balance on my credit card that I can't pay...and I'm already there.
  

I'm having a hard time trusting God with my finances right now. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the summer...especially with traveling and bridal showers. I know it will all work out, but right now just taking a look at my bank statements makes me concerned. Trust, Jess...just trust.